just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
