she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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