Cold hands, warm shart.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
