stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
