you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
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Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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