They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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