I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
