Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
