wat bout pragnant strippers??
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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