my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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