I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Hello my rib-scented angel!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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