I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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