Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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