That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
