did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
