i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
