I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My ass is underappreciated
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
