bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
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I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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