Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
