Me. At least after what I've been through.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
