You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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