You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize