You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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