census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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