Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
