is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
