better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
