that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
