Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
