forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
