haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Your penis caused this!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
