the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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