When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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