I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
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