"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize