And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Alive.
So much puke
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
