Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
