I need help removing her.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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