Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
