i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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