Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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