Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
