You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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