I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
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How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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We need to get me chipped asap
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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