I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
