She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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