I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
