A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
