I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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