Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
