I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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