he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
