Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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