I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize