You work out of a Hotel?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
