Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
