my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
