"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
