Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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